Open Doors
Chapter 11c: Reflective Practice Experience It
Lillian Sugarman: There was a second role play that Rebecca and her group did about a home visitor who had a mom who wouldn't consistently let her in the door. The home visitor was venting about this experience with Rebecca as her reflective supervisor, and Rebecca validated her feelings of frustration and used a role-reversal strategy to help the home visitor problem-solve how she might address the situation. The group went through this exercise and then talked about it. So let's take a look at this.
Rebecca: You're coming with one agenda.
Kia: Mm-hmm.
Rebecca: She wants some relief.
Kia: Mm-hmm.
Rebecca: So, we have to find a bridge from where she is to where you are, and that bridge may take some time.
Kia: Yeah.
Rebecca: What do you say when you call?
Kia: I say, "Hello, this is your home visitor. We have an appointment scheduled for tomorrow. Will you be available?"
Rebecca: And then I'd say, "Yeah, I'm going to be home."
Kia: Yes.
Rebecca: "Where else am I going to go?"
Kia: Right. If she picks up, she says, "Yeah, so I'll be here." And if she doesn't pick up, then of course I leave a message similar to that and ask her if she will call me back.
Rebecca: Okay, so let's take a deep breath. I'd like you to pretend that you are her, and I'm going to be you for a minute, and I'm going to make that phone call. I'm going to try to pretend to be you.
Kia: Okay.
Rebecca: Okay. And I'd like you then to hear it and tell me what I could have said on the phone that might get you to open the door. I want you to hear me from a critical point of view.
Kia: Okay.
Rebecca: Okay. Hello, Jennifer?
Kia: Hi.
Rebecca: Hi. This is your home visitor, and I just want you to know that we have an appointment. I want to remind you that we have an appointment tomorrow at 2:00. Are you going to be home?
Kia: Yes, I'll be home.
Rebecca: Okay. So I'll see you around 2:00 then.
Kia: Okay.
Rebecca: Okay. Thanks a lot.
Kia: All right. Bye.
Rebecca: Bye-bye.
Rebecca: How do you feel?
Kia: It's kind of funny. It's kind of like you're just calling me, because you have to. You're just coming to the house because you have to, not because you want to see me and you want to spend time with my children. You were just doing your scheduled visit like you do with everybody else that you have to interact with.
Rebecca: Is that true about why you want to go?
Kia: No, not at all.
Rebecca: What's true?
Kia: The truth is I really care about this family, and I really am deeply concerned.
Rebecca: Okay. So there's -- we're identifying something really important, that there is a gap between what you feel and intend and what she's likely to be understanding. So, we need to build a bridge. We can't change her right now.
Kia: Right.
Rebecca: So, I'm going to call you up again. And you're Jennifer, and I'm going to say... Okay. Okay, so... Hello, Jennifer? Kia: Hello.
Rebecca: Hi. This is Rebecca.
Kia: Hi, Rebecca. How are you?
Rebecca: Hi. I'm well. I've been thinking about you.
Kia: Oh, really?
Rebecca: Yeah. How are you doing?
Kia: Oh, I'm good.
Rebecca: Yeah?
Kia: Yeah, I'm doing well.
Rebecca: I was thinking about you and how hard you're working and I'm calling to just let you know that we have an appointment tomorrow, and I'm wondering if that's convenient for you.
Kia: Tomorrow's not really convenient. I don't -- I don't think I can make the appointment tomorrow.
Rebecca: Uh-huh. What would be better for you?
Kia: Can we reschedule maybe for later on in the week?
Rebecca: Mm-hmm. Hang on. Let me just look at my calendar.
Kia: Okay.
Rebecca: Could Friday work?
Kia: Yes, I think Friday could work.
Rebecca: Around what time would work?
Kia: Could you come around, 11:00?
Rebecca: Mm, I can't do 11:00, but I could do 1:00.
Kia: Okay. Okay.
Rebecca: That would be okay?
Kia: Mm-hmm.
Rebecca: Okay. Is there anything I could pick up for you on the way?
KIA: Oh, um, no, no, there's nothing I need at the moment, but thank you for asking.
Rebecca: You're welcome. Okay, would you like me to call and remind you, or you think you'll remember?
Kia: I'll remember.
Rebecca: Okay. All right, then. See you on Friday.
Kia: Thank you.
Rebecca: Bye.
Kia: Bye.
Rebecca: So, how did that feel?
Kia: It felt like you actually cared about what was, one, convenient for me, two, how I was feeling, and then you went the next step and actually asked if I needed something.
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